11 Years, 8 Months, 26 Days

Today, I just wanted to write a post about my mom, who I miss more than anything. Today Mama would be 47 years old. Instead of having a birthday celebration here with our family together and a chocolate cake with streamers hanging around the house for decoration, she's spending it in Heaven with Jesus. As much as I know she would love to be here for us, she's having a wonderful time up Above. Exactly 11 years, 7 months and 26 days ago from today, I lost my mom from a battle with cancer. She joined our heavenly Daddy at age 35. I can hardly believe that eleven years of my life have gone by without her here beside me. I do know that she is with me at all times in my heart.

Eleven birthdays, eleven Christmas', eleven Mother's Day's, eleven Valentines Day's, all those special moments everyone wants to spend with their mom, I always spend a moment to think of her. My mom will forever and always be in my heart. That is one promise God has made me.

I remember the day it happened as if it was just yesterday. Dad came home really late that night from the hospital to tell my brother, Grandma and I. In the mind of a seven year old, for some reason the fact that she couldn't come back didn't sink in. I kept thinking and asking if we could bring her back to us somehow. It was the worst heartbreak of my life. 

There is nothing else comparable to a mothers' love. But I never once was mad at God. Dad was always great with reminding Matt and I that God would make purpose of this heartbreak and that God would provide. All we need is faith and trust. 

All the memories I have, I hold on to. All the precious comments family and friends give me about how much I favor my mom, I treasure. I thank God for those. I only hope to have just as strong of faith, marriage and wisdom just as she had as I get older. A mother's footsteps should leave the perfect tracks for her child to follow. My mother's were just that. And I pray that God will help me follow them step by step and not venture off. One day I will be where she is. That place is a sweet sweet place. Sweeter than anything you could ever imagine. To know that she is safe in Heaven, in Gods arms, brings me peace and comfort. She has no more pain, no worries, and evil is no where near. It's all just a bunch of great big sweetness!! I wouldn't and couldn't bring her back for anything if I was given the chance, because I know Jesus is holding her even closer now.

My mom may not be here in physical form to help raise me and set that motherly figure example for me as I get older. But I can tell you, all the way from Heaven, she's still doing her motherly job. Because I look up to the woman she was and know that someday I want to be just that. A true Proverbs 31 woman.

And I know one thing is for certain. God held me that night of September 18, 2001. He continues to hold me when it gets tough. I believe that with all of my heart. Ask me why? ..because I can feel Him strengthening me in the moments I need Him most. He has brought amazing people into my life (family and friends) that has taught me so much. When we feel we are falling apart and can't go any further, it's God who brings us through, gives us the strength we need, and provides. And instead of always providing the things we just want, He gives us exactly what we need! He knows our hearts desires just as well as we do! He holds us together in circumstances where everything seems to be falling apart. We couldn't do anything without our heavenly Daddy.

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mom! I love you and miss you so so much! One day I will see you again, in the place where life is sweeter. Heaven.

I Want to Know You More

Have you ever felt the awful feeling where you can't feel Jesus near? It's definitely not one of those pleasureful feelings to have. Maybe you wonder why is it that you can't feel Him, even if you are a Christian, and you do believe in Him. You might feel as though you've lost connection. Or like you've lost signal and your trying to get a message across to Him but He's not receiving it? The things you use to enjoy doing to serve Him, you may find yourself losing the desire to glorify Him with it in your heart. You feel an emptiness, and probably a little fake for playing through the motions and not feeling the desire for it in your heart any longer. But you yearn to do so again.

In order to live the Christian life and serve Him, we must have the desire to do so. We must have the longing to grow nearer to our God, and the wanting of a stronger and more passionate relationship with Him each and every day.

I personally believe that feeling God comes with a LARGE portion of faith. And trust. Psalms 9:10 says this: "Those who know your name will trust in You, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Those who seek God, will find Him. And sometimes it's just good to go by what you know. God is omnipresent. He is everywhere. And sometimes, for people it's in certain circumstances that you are able to really feel Him. For instance, some may feel Him more frequently when they are in a quiet place alone with Him, and some may feel Him in a worship session during a youth retreat with their church. And that's super, because that means He's moving in you!! I personally am able to feel Him when I am worshiping with others, or when I am speaking to Him in a quiet place. And sometimes the feeling can come at a random time. Which feels amazing!!

The song I Want to Know You (In the Secret) by Sonicflood matches up with this perfectly when it says:

In the secret
In the quiet place
In the stillness
You are there
In the secret
In the quiet hour I wait
only for You
Cause, I want to know You more

Chorus:
I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more

I am reaching
for the highest goal
That I might receive
the prize
Pressing onward
Pushing every hindrance aside
Out of my way
Cause, I want to know You more.

In this beautiful song, the singer is describing in passionate words how he desires to know God more and more. In every way He wants to learn more about Him. He wants to hear God, touch God, and see God. And to do so He is going to search in the quiet and still places and wait patiently for Him.

A still and quiet place is not only a scene with no sound, but it is within your heart. And when you pray for God to move inside of you, wait for him with patience :) Sometimes God's timing is not ours. Maybe He is testing you in acts of patience with Him. I know He has been doing that with me here lately.

And when sin tries to creep in and mess you up. Talk to God and ask Him to lead and guide your actions, feelings, and thoughts. One thing I learned from middle school, is to surround yourself with friends that will build you up and not bring you down. It's easier to pull someone down than to lift them up. Sin is like sand at the bottom of the ocean. You may walk through it not thinking it will eventually stick on you, but after a while when you stand still in it then it all settles on you too. And then it gets uncomfortable and you begin shifting to break loose from it. Shifting is good! :) Because then you should feel the need to cry out for Jesus. By steering clear from places where sin lives, you should find it much easier to walk the narrow path.

Wait for God patiently in the quiet and still places of your heart. Sometimes all the things going on in your life can distract you from Him. And it's more difficult for you to find him in a busy setting. Search for Him whole-hearted. He will show Himself to you on His timing. Patience is the key ;) Just wait for Him. God reigns and will stick by your side through it all. But never think for a second that Christ Jesus has forgotten you, because He has you engraved on the palms of His two hands...where He was nailed to the cross to show His love for you and I. :) Check out Isaiah 49:15-16.

Laminin

Something someone said to me a few days ago motivated me to write this blog on laminin. No names will be mentioned but I am hoping to get a point across to this person or to any other person who may be having the same thoughts he is having.
Just to make things a little less complicated, we will call him Joe. Now Joe is absolutely correct with stating that 1. God is all powerful. 2. God is all-knowing. 3. God is benevolent. However Joe believes (and this is straight from the source):

"If there is a repeated situation, if god does not act in the same way, that means that he fails one of the three criteria, which is the foundation of the existence of a philosophical god. If he were all knowing, all powerful, etc. he would act in the way that is best in each situation. If the situations were repeated, he would act the same way. If he didn't, that means that he is not all knowing. If he is not all knowing, that means that he is not all powerful (because the ability to be wrong would imply that there is a limit on his abilities), and if he is not all powerful, then he is not by definition a god. "

All I could think to do was ask God to give me words of wisdom and truth to pass on to Joe. I think I did fairly well with explaining that God has His reasons for everything. And that no situation is identical anyways. There will be even the smallest difference in there somewhere and that changes everything. God works for the best of those individuals involved. I told him that I am currently reading the Bible and have not crossed an instance where God has changed His mind about something. But if I were to cross that in scripture, I know that my God does everything for our best, and our faith and trust in Him is the key. No matter the circumstance. He holds us together, in every part of our lives. I told Joe that trying to understand Gods ways is out of the question. If you're trying to understand Gods ways, give up. :) Because we aren't suppose to understand God. That's all a matter of trust and faith in Him. It all shows how magnificent He is!

 I did fail to mention laminin to him. It didn't even cross my mind until later. LAMININ is PROOF! Laminin is, to me, the best proof pertaining to scripture that I know of. Laminin is proof that God holds us together, just like He says He will...in Colossians 1:17!

Colossians 1:17 says this:"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together."

Now it is amazing what the function of this little molecule is...laminin is responsible for holding all of our body structures together...basically, it is the rebar (glue) of our body's...
But what is most amazing is actually what laminin looks like, or the sight of it. So I guess I should show you a picture of laminin...

 CRAZY, HUH!? It looks like a cross! God indeed kept His promise with holding us together. :) I will always and forever trust and have faith in my God. He keeps His promises. And all I can tell Joe is that God works in mysterious ways! Understanding God...ehhh, not gonna happen. Sorry. Just let faith and trust step in! God is amazing! Laminin. Laminin. Laminin. Laminin. Laminin :)

Life Is Sweeter

Today, I just wanted to write a blog about my mom, who I miss more than anything. Exactly ten years ago from today, I lost my mom from a battle with cancer. She joined our heavenly Daddy at age 35. I can hardly believe that ten years of my life has gone by without her here beside me. I do know that she is with me at all times in spirit.

Ten birthdays, ten Christmas', ten Mother's Day's, ten Valentines Day's, all those special moments everyone wants to spend with their mom. Those days I always spend a moment to think of her. My mom is always and will forever be in my heart. That is one promise God has made me.

All the memories I have, I hold on to. All the precious comments family and friends give me about how much I favor my mom, I treasure. I thank God for those. And best friends are one of the absolute bests at these. I got a special text from my sister last night that read, "Just remember that she's watching over you and is always with you. You see your mom everyday when you look in the mirror because you look so much like her!" I only hope to have a strong faith, marriage, and confidence just as she had as I get older. A mother's footsteps should leave the perfect tracks for her child to follow. My mother's were just that. And I pray that God will help me follow them step by step and not venture off. One day I will be where she is. That place is a sweet sweet place. Sweeter than anything you could ever imagine. To know that she is safe in that place brings me peace and comfort. She has no more pain, no worries, and definitely sees no evil. It's all just a bunch of great big sweetness!! I wouldn't couldn't bring her back for anything if I was given the chance because I know Jesus is holding her even closer now. It's like the song "Life Is Sweeter" by The Afters says:

"So far from where you are
But I feel you with me
Your in the place where I belong
Where my life is waiting
As I watch the rising of the sun
I pray that I could have just one
Chance to say goodnight
I never want to say goodbye

Life is sweeter, sweeter
On the other side, on the other side
I will see you, see you
On the other side, on the other side
I'll find the stars to light me through
I'll find a way to get to you
Life is sweeter on the other side of here"

My mom may not be here in physical form to help raise me and set that motherly figure example for me as I get older. But I'll tell you, all the way from Heaven, she's still doing her motherly job. Because I look up to the woman she was and know that someday I want to be just that.

And I know one thing is for certain. God held me that night of September 18, 2001. He continues to hold me when it gets tough. I believe that with all of my heart. Ask me why? ..because I can feel Him strengthening me in the moments I need Him most. When we feel we are falling apart and can't go any further...it is God who brings us through, gives us the strength we need, and provides. He holds us together when everything is falling apart. We couldn't do anything without our heavenly Daddy.

I love you and miss you mom. One day I will see you again, in the place where life is sweeter. Heaven.
~Melissa